Geek Foo

Something a little different this time. Had a fun chat at work the other day. Oddly enough, it was about surviving the zombie apocalypse. No, I don't really think there is one coming. No, zombie movies and books are not a staple of my entertainment (although I liked 30 Days Later and Ms. Hocking's Hollowland). But it was an interesting chat, discussing weaponry and such. I was going for guns with high velocity rounds and good sights, ideally military grade stuff I'd had loads of experience with. The conversation ended something like this:

Me: "You know, I used to teach marksmanship. And could put a three round shot group in a space the size of a quarter at a third of a mile."

Him: "OK, you can join our zombie survival group."

No, he doesn't really think there are zombies coming, either.

But the whole chat got me thinking about the zillions of useless or semi-practical bits of Geek Cred I've accumulated over the years. It's not the sort of thing I think about often, because it doesn't exactly fit on a regular resume. But I had some fun composing a fictional Geek Resume while driving, chuckling as I did.  Something like this:

- Second highest ranked Magic The Gathering player in the world; multiple M:tG Pro Tour competitor.

- Third Dan Black Belt. Owned own dojang for six years. Multiple national medalist. Combatives instructor for US Army Infantry.

- Expert marksman. Sniper cross trained. Qualified expert on pretty much every small arms in use by the Army.

- Guild leader of MMORPG guild for over a decade, spanning almost a dozen games and over a thousand players total.

- Multiply-published writer. Won award for short fiction.

- Semi-pro artist for multiple computer games. Actually made and (briefly, for fun) launched own MMORPG.

- Squire to a Knight in a medieval re-enactment organization. Also leader of local group. Also co-sponsor of Battle of Hastings recreation at the Pennsic War (where I played Harold last year - and won).

- Yes, that means I have a full kit of 1066 armor. I also have an awesome plate armor kit set in the late 14th century.

- Started playing D&D from age 7 on. Wrote own RPG and gamemastered it at GenCon 1993. Teaching kids, ages 5, 5, and 2, how to play D&D right now (which they love, btw).

- Used to build PCs for money, back in the 90s. Now do it for fun.

- Programming HTML since before it was cool.

- Can accurately quote at least 50% of the lines from "Princess Bride".

- College activities: fencing, SCA, RPG gaming, online gaming (MUDs), Tae Kwon Do, running my own small business.

Well, that's what came to mind. (No, I really don't take this any more seriously than the zombies, but it was fun!)

Of course, I lose a lot of cred because I have never to this day sent a text message from a cell phone (listens for gasps of horror).

 

So, what does your "Geek Resume" look like?  ;)